I send my baby off to kindergarten next week. She's beyond excited. I'm beyond emotional. She wakes up each morning asking if today is the day. I wake up each morning thinking, "Oh no, we're one day closer!". I suppose both sides are normal, and truthfully her excitement makes me excited for her too. But my heart, it breaks just a little.
I'm trying not to let her see my emotional side too much, because I want her to be excited and not worry about dear old mom. But the other morning in a quiet moment I looked at her and said, "Oh Leah, I'm going to miss you so much when you are in kindergarten." She looked back at me, and in a calm reassuring manner said, "I know you will, Mom. But I need to go so that I can see how much fun I will have!" In the moment I laughed, and replied that yes, that was true, and that she was going to have all sorts of fun.
But later, it struck me how profound her response was. I thought about how I did the same thing to my parents so often in my growing-up. "I know you will miss me, but I need to go discover, find out, explore, make mistakes, make friends, make accomplishments, make my way...to see how much fun it will be!"
Oh, there's joy in the journey. And my journey has been full of joy. But today, for a moment, I need to ready my heart to let my daughter experience her own journey. And I know that where she goes, she does not go alone. May God bless her and keep her. May he make his face to shine upon her. And give her peace.
What fun it will be!